Archive for the ‘On the lighter side’ Category

SATIRE – MARC’S PRIVATE JEWISH POLITICAL FANTASIES

Thursday, February 12th, 2015

 

Marc’s Private Jewish Political Fantasies

By  / 12 February 2015 / 0 Comments
(This is a SATIRE)
I am Marc.  I am liberal. I voted for Obama.  I know that doesn’t seem that wise now, but back then I was thinking of the Nazis and how Obama never said anything nasty like them.  He was all positive about brotherhood and love. He sucked me in.  He was beautiful.  He wore nice suits.
As a Jew I obviously hated right wing Nazis.  Obama’s closeness to left wing communism made me feel that he was safe and an ally of my people.  That was before writers like Lionel Goldberg discovered the concept of liberal fascism. Before I realized that Nazism and Communism had the same theocratic, large bureaucratic base.  That left met right in a handshake of destruction.
Obama said he liked Israel.  Well, he also said that the most beautiful sound was the Muslim call to prayer from the mosque.  I guess that was on days when his wonderful peaceful Muslims were not decapitating innocent people or raping children.  Let’s not forget the crucifixions.  Muslims crucified Christians as a cruel mockery of the religion they hated.
The crucified by Isis don’t make beautiful sounds like Obama’s call to prayer.  Obama is almost Godly.  He forgave all the terrorists for their atrocities and didn’t even name them terrorists.  He didn’t want to get them angry.  He is an appeaser like Neville Chamberlain. Chamberlain was a pacifist like Gandhi.  Obama is a great man.  He doesn’t care about protecting our particular country.  He is truly global and multi-national.
Wow.  Obama’s Muslim background showed that he was going to bring all the Muslims, Jews and Christians together in a festivity of solemn religion.  Maybe he’d even get Reverend Wright’s anti-American Trinity United Church of Christ to break bread with his Muslim heritage.
Beautiful thoughts.  I was converted by him into the religion of Obamaism before the Greek columns in Denver.  He was so beautiful.  He even had not-so-bright, lyrically challenged, unmelodic Bruce Springsteen sing some blasé lyrics about “Born in the U.S.A”

http://cdn1.eaglerising.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Obama-vs-Israel-II-280x230.jpgWas Obama born in the U.S.A.?  Who knows, but I wouldn’t ask that because I don’t want to be accused of being a doubter or a racist. As a good Jew I would never be a racist.  I defend blacks even when they are wrong.  Obama is one of the worst Presidents we’ve ever had, but I consider his skin color to be more important than his failings.  I applaud the color of his skin, not the content of his character. I am the opposite of Martin Luther King, who should have been more violent and reverse racist like Malcolm X.

I actually partially voted for Obama because he was black.  I can’t stand prejudice because of all the prejudice my Jewish people have received. That’s why I chose the Democrats instead of the Republicans who actually stopped slavery. (more…)
Share

POLITICAL CARTOON – CHURCH OF OBAMA

Tuesday, February 14th, 2012

Share

VIDEO – THADDEUS MCCOTTER – HOW TO “SPEAK DEMOCRAT”

Sunday, July 31st, 2011

Share

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE – EUROPEAN THREAT LEVELS

Friday, May 13th, 2011

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards!” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is canceled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Share

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE – VIDEO – STEVE BRIDGES AS ‘OBAMA’

Monday, February 21st, 2011

Share

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE – I HATE YOU, BRISTOL PALIN

Thursday, January 6th, 2011

NATIONAL REVIEW ONLINE www.nationalreview.com

David Kahane

January 4, 2011

It’s the happiest of New Years: We have another Palin to drive us crazy.

Okay, I’ve just about had it with you people. Yes, I’m talking to you, the Palin family of Moosewhack Village, Bumblefork County, Alaska, USA, Earth, Universe. I mean, who in the name of old Joe Hill are you to be constantly coming into my living room unannounced and uninvited?

It was bad enough when the most unqualified person in American life — I’m talking to you, Sarah — had the effrontery to run for vice president. It got even worse when, after your well-deserved shellacking at the hands of the most qualified person in America — that would be His Exalted Majesty, the Emperor Barack Hussein Obama II, Lord of the Flies, Master of the Hoops, and Keeper of the Holy Cities of Honolulu and Chicago — you refused to slink off into the obscurity of the Arctic Standard Time Zone, or whatever that place is called where the sun don’t shine. Now you even have your own reality show, on which no moose or caribou is safe.

But while you’re banging away at the wildlife population and then popping their remains in a pot for dinner, you’ve bequeathed us Bristol, little miss Dancing with the Stars and now the proud owner of some choice Arizona real estate, to carry on the family tradition of driving us nuts. (more…)

Share

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE – DAVE BARRY’S 2010 YEAR IN REVIEW

Monday, January 3rd, 2011
The Miami Herald

Dave Barry’s 2010 Year in Review

By Dave Barry

Jack Ohman / MCT
Let’s put things into perspective: 2010 was not the worst year ever. There have been MUCH worse years. For example, toward the end of the Cretaceous Period, the Earth was struck by an asteroid that wiped out 75 percent of all the species on the planet. Can we honestly say that we had a worse year than those species did? Yes we can, because they were not exposed to Jersey Shore.So on second thought we see that this was, in fact, the worst year ever. The perfect symbol for the awfulness of 2010 was the BP oil spill, which oozed up from the depths and spread, totally out of control, like some kind of hideous uncontrollable metaphor. (Or, Jersey Shore.) The scariest thing about the spill was, nobody in charge seemed to know what to do about it. Time and again, top political leaders personally flew down to the Gulf of Mexico to look at the situation first-hand and hold press availabilities. And yet somehow, despite these efforts, the oil continued to leak. This forced us to face the disturbing truth that even top policy thinkers with postgraduate degrees from Harvard University — Harvard University! — could not stop it.

The leak was eventually plugged by non-policy people using machinery of some kind. But by then our faith in our leaders had been shaken, especially since they also seemed to have no idea what to do about this pesky recession. Congress tried every remedy it knows, ranging all the way from borrowing money from China and spending it on government programs, to borrowing MORE money from China and spending it on government programs. But in the end, all of this stimulus created few actual jobs, and most of those were in the field of tar-ball collecting.

Things were even worse abroad. North Korea continued to show why it is known as “the international equivalent of Charlie Sheen.” The entire nation of Greece went into foreclosure and had to move out; it is now living with relatives in Bulgaria. Iran continued to develop nuclear weapons, all the while insisting that they would be used only for peaceful scientific research, such as — to quote President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad — “seeing what happens when you drop one on Israel.” Closer to home, the already strained relationship between the United States and Mexico reached a new low following the theft, by a Juarez-based drug cartel, of the Grand Canyon.

This is not to say that 2010 was all bad. There were bright spots. Three, to be exact:

1. The Yankees did not even get into the World Series.

2. There were several days during which Lindsay Lohan was neither going into, nor getting out of, rehab.

3. Apple released the hugely anticipated iPad, giving iPhone people, at long last, something to fondle with their other hand.

Other than that, 2010 was a disaster. To make absolutely sure that we do not repeat it, let’s remind ourselves just how bad it was. Let’s put this year into a full-body scanner and check out its junk, starting with… (more…)

Share

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE – TOLERANT

Tuesday, December 28th, 2010

——————————————————————————–

I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against a mosque being built near Ground Zero. I think it should be the goal of every person to be tolerant. The mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose, that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque thereby promoting tolerance within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs (which would be gay) “The Turban Cowboy” and the other being a topless bar “You Mecca Me Hot”.

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and adjacent to that have an open barbeque pork rib restaurant, called something like “Iraq o’ Ribs”?Across the street there could be a very daring lingerie store called Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.Next door to the lingerie shop, there would be room for an Adult Toy Shop (Koranal Knowledge), its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store, maybe call it “Morehammered”?Then the Muslims could be allowed to show their tolerance. Problem solved.

Share

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE – VIDEO – AN ITALIAN PRESIDENT

Monday, December 13th, 2010

Share

VIDEO – THE BOXER REBELLION

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

a VIDEO spoof on Barbara Boxer and the General –

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixiYZ9DPk8o&feature=player_embedded

Share
Search All Posts
Categories